You can ride that tame un: Say a polite no thanks.
He is the best horse ever, sure you can ride him!: That is, compared to the worst horse that ever took breath.
After you're done ridin him your gonna owe him a couple bucks: This usually means bucks not money. Only experienced riders allowed.
ah was in mah second year of college an' was lookin' fo' a summer job when someone offered a job thet'd last about three months. It was a babysittin' job. Well bust mah britches an' call me streaker. Th' Maw an' Paw had been wantin' a three month bust fo' a long time, an' now thet they had th' chance, they jumped at it. They paid at least $150 a day an' ah also jumped at th' chance. They had two twin kids wif freckles all on over their haid an' wif red hair. They looked like Syndrome fum "Th' Incredibles". Thet sh'd haf been mah fust hint. Th' fust day was awful, ah reckon. ah arrived at 10:00 an' th' house was a mess. At lunch time, ah made spaghetti an' they jest loved it - puffick fo' a grub fight. ah was th' targit, an' ah can tell yo', no matter how much fun it was fo' them, ah had an awful time. Thet night ah snuck away t'mah trimenjus pink dump truck, bought some mighty strong cages an' rushed back. Shet mah mouth! Befo'e enny of th' kids had a chance, ah grabbed etch by th' hair an' stuck one in etch cage. Of course, ah lost a thoomb an' a pinky...th' thoomb one of th' kids bit off, th' pinky ah slammed in th' cage dore tryin' t'close it quick inough so thet they'dn't git out. ah was only able t'feed them grub thet was small inough t'fit through th' bars on account o' ah was NOT a-gonna stick mah han's in thar jest t'give them grub. Fo' th' water ah jest bought some pop-up lid water bottles an''d hold them while th' kids sucked on them, dawgone it. Af'er two days th' water solushun was a trimenjus pain so ah bought eight rabbit water bottles , four fo' etch of them, dawgone it. Th' job was way easier on account o' ah only had t'be thar three times a day, an', eff'n ah pow'ful wanted to, ah only had t'be thar two times a day. It was a sweet deal! Fry mah hide! Th' day befo'e th' parents came home, ah did a pow'ful deep clean of th' house, an' made th' kids promise t'behave eff'n ah let them out. Wal, ah purdy nervous t'let th' two syndromes out, but ah did, cuss it all t' tarnation. Wal, they inded up behavin' purdy fine on account o' they thunk ah w'd put them back in th' cages agin eff'n they didn't. (they were right). When Maw an' Paw came home sar th' right purdy house an' th' behavin' kids ah got mah pay right away an' was sent off. ah wager thet ah was th' highess stan'in' student in th' whole skoo...it was nice!
1.You knock on a door and a women with a mustache answers.
2.Sirens!
3.You mean I have to pay for that?!
4.You see a man in a dress walking towards you.
5.You accidentally back up into someones 2006 mustang.
6.You went to the dump and the dump employees keep trying to toss you in their trash pile.
7.Your mom asks if your busy right now.
8.Your girlfriend says "My Birthday is tomorrow...isn't that jewelery shop so nice? " if she says that remember: run faster then she can drive.
Gobbly and Bobbly Goop, twins, and I were talking in the Goop's kitchen when I pointed to a something that looked like this:
Gobbly explained that if you took the cup out, it was a accurate tester of your hearing.
"Put yer head in, an' then we'll lower the squeez-the ear cup onto your ear, and test yure hearin'." said Bobbly.
"Yeah! There be this here light that will turn grine iffin' yure hearin' is gud, yeller iffin' it's okie, and red iffin' it's bad." Added Gobbly.
I did not like the looks of the contraption, so it took a whole lot of persuading on Gobbly's and Bobbly's part. Finally I stuck my head in, and immediately Gobbly was squeezing my head with it. It was very painful, and I tried to pull my head out. It was no use, my head was firmly wedged. I was surprised that Gobbly's and Bobbly's hearing didn't go because of my screaming. When half of my ear wax was pushed out, he let up. It turns out that it was a hand juicer.
A couple days later at school, I heard tell that Mr. Goop found three huge chunks of pulp in his orange juice.
Even though I had slept in my parents' room, I did not get any sleep the rest of the night, mainly because my brain nerves were at my feet, and my feet nerves were at my brain.The minute the sun was up, my nerves were in their correct places, although they were very nervous. Walking to my dresser, I didn't know if it was my imagination or not, but the rug seemed to be crinkled up like so many speed bumps to trip me. I peeked into to my room and, except for a foot deep of clothes and trash, the coast was clear. I walked boldly up to my dresser, knelt down and reached for my pant drawer.
It just so happened that my face was directly in front of my sock drawer. Sock Drawer pushed out with all her force and rammed against my face, mainly my nose. Of all the furniture, upon later reflection, she was the one who had the best sock. I was about to get into a fight with her when I decided to grab a strong stick and spank her. I figured that if she was smart enough to time her socks right, she was smart enough to know why I spanked her. I pulled her out of her socket and grabbed up a stick. Mercilessly, I whacked her ten hard times. I heard a faint squeak my first whack, and by the time I was to my tenth she was groaning and screaming her loudest, which was in itself punishment to me. The rest of the day doors swung out and hit me whenever I walked by them, coffee tables and chairs banged my knees and toes, and rugs tripped me.
That night at dinner, the table collapsed onto my lap, broke the chair I was sitting on, and pinned me to the ground while the chair whacked me with its legs. Mom and Dad rescued me, and I was rushed to the hospital with a broken leg and fractured skull.
The last day of school is a happy time for everyone, especially the teacher. It just so happened that every year I, a teacher, was always the first one out the door. That day was the day I taught the kids most. I would start out by saying, "Now kids, for today I am going to tell you all about the best summer vacation sites, the best hunting grounds, and the best way to make a slingshot!" All the kids would cheer at this, because usually I told them stories of my childhood and life lessons I had learned. All the kids liked having me as a teacher. I suppose because I have better stories than all the other teachers. Anyway, I am always the first one out of the classroom on the last day of school.
One time, much to my surprise, a teeny weeny kid beat me to the door! I was horrified! I knew I was slowing down when that happened. I had to do something about it. The very next day I went to the gym and got a membership, yes, that was my plan. Workout everyday, especially running and jumping. That whole summer was a summer of relentless working out...I ran 10 miles a day, and 2 miles of that run I ran while I jump roped, and another 3 miles was jumping over logs while a ran. Soon the torturing summer was over...and school had begun again.
Now, I had made another training plan for during school, so that I wouldn't get out of shape. I would race to the door everyday! Yup, jumping over chairs and desks, then running helter skelter with the kids would surely train me well. Okay, forget everything I've said. I wasn't training for the last day of school, I was training for long distance hurdling in the Olympics. What better way to train then to turn an everyday event into a training session? Okay, so maybe running from where I was standing to the door is not very far...but I had trained all that summer, remember? Okay, I know I told you to forget everything I had said, but you can remember some.
I did end up winning the last day in school, but I didn't win the Olympics...oh well. I did not tell anyone I went to the Olympics, that way I wouldn't be embarrassed if I didn't win, and it would be a nice surprise for everyone if I did! Okay, I know what you're thinking. They would see my name on the screen and know it was me, right? Wrong! Hehehehe! I changed my name! Hehehehe! And, by the way, China is a nice place. Yes, I am writing my memoirs here...about before I went to the Beijing Olympics...now everyone knows it is me who lost...oh well. And now my memoirs are ended!
Goodbye. Thanks for wasting your time to read this! Hope you enjoyed it!
In the last episode Empty Head was in the middle of Africa with African tribes roaming every where. Empty Head had found a airplane and was searching for anything useful inside the plane.
Burned my face on something hot. After I finished screaming I started to feel around in the dark for something useful. BAAAAW! HAAAAAAHOB! I looked to my left and saw a dark red scaly body lift itself onto its five legs, then it yelled again a terror of a scream BLAAAAF!
I was frozen staring at its bright green eyes, when it sprayed one of its really hot acids from its mouth. I was burnt into life by the burning acid, and dove out of the plane (it took me ten minutes to find my way out in the dark) then I looked back to see a big inflatable deformed dragon held up by two teenagers come flying out of the airplane with a pepper spray bottle in one of the teenagers hand.
So sure I might have exaggerated with the scaly skin and all but who cares, well at least I don't really care, that is, not really. Anyway I got down to business right away, and found out not all teenagers are slow.
A tribe I ran into said that they had never seen Dash (from The Incredibles) in real life! so I stopped and I told them: Well you will have to admit that in your small, smelly, ugly, disgusting, rude, mean, stupid, horrible, diaper country you don't see 'humans' very much, well that is humans that don't look like animals.
What a weird sight! me chasing the two teenagers, the tribe chasing me and a crowd on horseback cheering us on! that's not what was really weird, the weird part was that we where going faster then the people on horseback!
Dear Readers,
We joyfully (well only two thirds of us anyway) announce The Lion Times, a blog about the life of Roar, Screech, and Chimp.
It costs $1 to join and another $3 a year, so please send it to us at:
Fast J
PO Box 185
Clements, CA 95227
We also need you to give us your email address.
(Generous donations accepted!) we also accept any comments.
After the little fight I had with Chair and Rug, I was purty jumpy all that day. All for nothing. So I decided that it must have been just a one day thing. WRONG! The next day was when it started, VERY early, 1:00am to be exact, well actually 1:01:39am to be TOTALLY exact. I was sleeping peacefully, dreaming of a house that had no furniture in it, when, to my surprise, my bed collapsed! I was instantly awake because when the bed collapsed one of the bed's ribs, or slats, decided to break at an angle, making a spear point that enjoyed jabbing into my back like a mountain into a cloud. I bit my tongue to keep from hollering out of pain and anger, hoping I could fight this battle to the end.
I headed into this fight like a mad dog. Head first, I plunged into the the middle of the mess, succeeding only in burrowing halfway through my sheets and the bed's ribs. Good enough for me. Punching and kicking, I broke Bed's ribs one after another. The movement of my arms and legs succeeded in getting me stuck in the sheet, and I was half suffocating because of it.
For half an hour I punched and kicked, until finally I was wrapped like a burrito, and then...SHATTER! Mom and Dad came running into my room and saw a sheet wriggling around on a collapsed bed. They succeeded in getting me out of the sheet, and I took in the situation right away. The shatter had been made by the window next to my bed. It appeared that my feet had broken it. Even though I hadn't fought this battle to the finish, I was happy to leave the battle field partially intact.
Stay tuned for the next "Of House and House Appliances Beating me up" and find out what happens at dinner.
WARNING:This will scare you...make sure you have a belt on, and put rubber bands on your socks because...THIS WILL SCARE YOU OUT OF YOUR PANTS & SOCKS!
Scary...
So I was walking inside a clothing&junkfilled room. Which is a room filled half way to the roof with junk, clothes, trash, last year's comics, etc. Also called "A BOY'S BEDROOM."
When all of a sudden I heard creak...SNAP! WHACK! I immediately dove into the clothes with a loud SMACK! I didn't know it at the time, that there was under the dirt/paint smeared shirt an old remote control car which I hit at 100mph, creating the following. OUCH!, THE PAIN!, WHAT SHALL I DO?!.
Once I was done yelling, I proceeded to hide under the shirt and some old long-johns, in an attempt to escape from the noise I had heard. When I was hidden what does luck bring! a nicely polished airsoft gun.
Now all I needed were some of the airsoft pistols ammunition which I found in the back pocket of some jeans. Now that I had a pistol I felt very brave so I jumped up at a 3o degree angle spiraling into space while shooting in every direction! sadly this slurr of events ended in a happy ending not the type my fellow writers like to read.
It just happened that the creaking sound I heard was my mom walking down our hallway and when she heard me hit the car she stopped listened for a while, and decided the words she heard being sputtered and muttered weren't from any a kid of hers! but then again on second thought...
Yea I have a ice pack on my head right now, but thats a happy ending compared to what most moms would have done right?
-fast j
PS:Does airsoft pellets getting shot at you two feet away hurt that bad mom?
NO! does that mean blood shed?...no funny posts?...NO FASTJ TO POST!?...does that mean we aren't safe here!?...NO, NO, NO.
Don't panic, don't scare, you wont die, you wont fry, so don't you cry, or you'll have to say bye bye.
We wont die, so you wont cry, now don't you say bye bye, because we'll cry, while you fry, in the sty.
All that's happening is that we are standing at the point of death...or the point of a gun, you can choose. Ok, its a picture...AH! it just shot...there's blood!...oops sorry that was the ketchup on the hamburger that just spilled onto my lap.
Alright thats not what this post is about, its supposed to tell you we are just going Gunners (pictures of air soft guns).
We have done one already for your enjoyment so...ENJOY!
Where is Al Gore? In this post I will be giving 12 possible answers to that question.
1. He flew south for winter
2. He got mugged for making DPs (dumb people) waste their money on PGW (prevent global warming) products.
3. He died in a snowstorm.
4. He is planing a Global Frost in his study.
5. He is at Bear valley enjoying some good snowboarding.
6.He sold himself to Hillary Clinton as a "Good" side kick, depending on your view of it. and now is playing Romeo with Hillary, but more modern. for money, and in a bar.
7.Mentally he died of heatstroke and is now being buried.
8.There was a fire near him and instead of running he took that time to sell his PGWs saying, "Behold the earth is burning, to prevent this dreadful thing before it spreads too far, buy my products. also this happen to be your lucky day, because I am having a BIG Winter Sale." the sad end of this astronomy is that he got burnt to a charcoal black and died before anyone could buy anything.
9.He is snowed in at the "Just deal with it bar" which has whiskey but nothing else.
10.He is reading my blog right now, and is setting up a tracker device that sends missiles to whatever its tracked.
11.He is still in the beauty saloon, the kind thats more man type.
12.He is in New York I bet.
This may come as quite a shock to some, but it is the truth. Some of you may be up on history. Some of you may not be up on history. Those of you who are up on history need not read this. Those of you who are not up on history should.
Quite a long time ago (long before any of you whippersnappers were even named), actually, about 500 years ago, there was a tribe of outlaw Indians. One of the Indians was named Kawachukeenugee (Kaw-Wa-Chew-kee-Nuegee). His name was Kaw, for short. In the whole world, there was no such thing as chewing a meal. Oh, yes, people did have teeth. But instead of chewing, people would just suck on their food until it was soggy enough to swallow, or three designated times a day, they would go to the river and dunk their food in the water. There was one other efficient way to eat the food without chewing. Twice a day, a woman of the village would start grinding food in a big tub at one end of the village. With a rock in one hand, and a wide stick except for the handle in the other, she reduced food into crumbs small enough to swallow.
One day, an amazing thing happened that would either diminish Kaw into non-existence, or raise him as an idol to the village, or do neither. In any case he saved us from having to eat that way. On that particular day, Kaw, as usual with the other men who came in from the field, was hungry. Well, Kaw was UNUSUALLY hungry, to be precise. When he was given his plate of food that was untreated thus far, he had the choice to have it ground by the Woman, or dunk it in the river, or suck it. Today, he decided to dunk it in the river. The river was the furthest away, but it was also the fastest.
As he was dashing down to the river, he was overcome by a wave of starvation. He reached down to grab a piece of chicken, and he thrust it in his mouth. Because he was running, his jaws went CHOMP! and cut the chicken in half. Soon, after he found out he could cut the chicken in half with his teeth, he was going CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Everyone beheld this glorious feat. Some thought he was a witch and should be dealt with accordingly, and beheaded. Some thought he was a god, and should be honored. Before either of these plans could be carried out, however, a wiser group tried to chew. And you know what? IT WORKED!!!! Well, that pretty much settled the issue. All around the world this event was spread, more and more people adopted the chewing method, and that is the history behind chewing.
Never eat out of a dish that just came out of the dish washer.
Never have vanilla ice cream outside unless there are no birds around.
Never put it in the refrigerator, put it in the freezer.
Never put it in oven to heat it up.
Never take it backpacking (done it, too messy).
Never mistake your mint chocolate chip ice cream for dirty vanilla ice cream. If you do, don't put it in the washer.
Never think that cold ice cream just needs to be zapped.
And the moral of this post is NEVER do nevers.
Here is how it happened,
When I got my duffle bag I went straight back to the bathroom, and with a stubbed toe (due to the fact a most ironic fight had taken place over who got in to the bathroom next, I had to kick my way in) I was back in my fortress with my mission coming along perfectly.
Since I had my duffle bag again that meant I also had matches, so I dug into the bottom of my duffle bag, got my matches, and poured my cleaning mixture into my shoe, lighted a match, caught a shoelace on fire and while my cleaning mixture boiled inside my shoe I began telling myself how proud I was of me.
Every one please make an orderly exit (that was the pilot on the really loud speaker, and he meant it. even if exiting did mean getting squashed.) if you have not caught on to what happened, I would like to move on so I will just say, fire alarm, panic, explosion, and the rest that comes from mistakes on a plane.
Those who want to move on like me may now start having their wish fulfilled. I survived by a miracle of passing out in mid-air, landing on another plane that was 1,000 feet under the explosion and again having my face rearranged to a look similar to this. so now my face was more like my regular one.
When I woke up I found some African tribe poking me with sticks and making me bleed…but first, before I get to far I think I should skip back 30 minutes.
When I had landed on the plane I had made a big dent. When the planes crew saw the dent they did not freak out but the pilot seeing it got scared and yanked his hands off the steering wheel dived for the door of the airplane and jumped. You might wonder why he got scared, and it is still unknown why he acted so. not even the crew knows. Thus the plane free from steering swirled out of control sending me sky high.
Also he landed in a muddy marsh that wasn’t much of a landing spot but it saved his life. Or maybe not because in less than 28minutes a tribe came along, and after protesting as of this kind, screeching, screaming, and yelling out in pain they stopped poking me with sticks covered their ears and ran.
I followed within a 200 yard radius in hope of them leading me to a town, so I hid when there where trees, crawled when there where not, and getting on my feet when there was a marsh. Traveling this way the left me behind like a horse would a ant. Whoee, whooee, whoee, I looked at where the sound came and noticed a crashed plane in the middle of a marsh, with what was left of a crew.
I decided to check it out, and take anything that Is useful, Oh no readers Not STEAL just TAKE. I ended up having to enter through the window since the door was jammed and once in I felt around and found another door and so I entered that and tripped smashed my fragile body on the floor and then.
Tune In Soon For Empty Head Series #3
I dedicate this song (which can be read as a poem) to all the little poor cheerios who have suffered like this little cheerio:
I thought I was brave, I thought I was a hero,
& then I found out, that I was only a cheerio,
Soon eaten up by Time,
With others of my kind,
Soon swimming in Milk,
And swallowed in one Gulp.
I hope by this time, all of you faithful readers are now pitying the poor cheerios that some of you eat every morning!!! I have started a petition against eating cheerios. If you want to be added to the list of names, please write in your comment box “Petition” & then sign your name to help the poor cheerios. At the end of this month, February, we will put the list of names up on our blog.
Making a stand against eating helpless cheerios,No Belly Button
That might be a boring title but, to some that's like music in their ears and, whats in this post actual happened. :(
To some seeing a rail ahead would be terrifying but to me it wasn't, and as mischief lighted into my eyes I made an evil laugh that sounded like a snicker... BAR!, ok well that didn't happen and this is supposed to be a humor blog not a scary story blog.
Hey yo Jon, bet you to sissy to go on yo rail, HEY! don't pay attention to Dick, he is just a mean old section of your brain. (this is a discussion between Dick and Bill whose nicknames happen to be non conscience and plain old conscience) so of course I would hate to break my promise with myself that I would never do anything that was not showing off (very stupid of me) and, as I am still a beginner on rails, I ended up having the worst of all the embarrassments in history! But you will find out what happens on the rail when I am ready for you to know.
So, what is a good way to go on a rail? well I don't think my way is no sir ree it sure ain't!
-fastj community
PS:the next series wont tell you what happened either. :) or for some :( or some would think that I am ;)
There appears to have been a recent glitch on this blog where the main author, fastj, thought we were switching blogs and even began posting to another site. This glitch has since been rectified, the posts have been put in their rightful cyber-place, and unbeatenhumor.blogspot.com has been shut down. Thank you for your patience during the technical difficulty and we hope you enjoy the return to normalcy!
Thank you,
the fastj team
Go thither young man, and get me my scissor then return hither with my scissor.
-Owner/Mom
Never fall in a hole or your look like a fool.
-Owner
If you end up with a blister I bet ten to one it will turn into a sister.
-Owner
Tongue Twisters
If in a waddle battle, turn to the waddle battle fuddles, and ask those waddle battle fuddles if they want a waddle battle with whoever you were in a waddle battle with, then if they say cunerdedawakerfeee that will be a no and that they will most likely keel you if you don’t get. But a whoheeyaawuuuuwupeeeeeee! is a yes.
-Owner
Bye everyone I am selling my blogspot and resigning to a administrative on unbeatenhumor.blogspot.com where my choice posts will be put on.
also everyone who wants this blog I will give it to but I will delete the choice posts I have on my blog so this blog will most likely have half its posts.
there are some other rules to.
-No deleting posts
-no saying you are the maker of fastj
Dear Empty head,
I have noticed you are in need of a job, so I am offering you a job in Africa that pays $6 an hour and we will also take care of flight expenses to get out here, lodging, and food, also we would like to remind you that if we see a lot of potential in you that it is most likely you will be upgraded to SI (savage instinct) and will be paid $15 a hour.
-African government
PS: You will start as a NSI (not to savage instinct) you are expected to be on a B14 9pm may 8th at the grail airport.
Now that’s one job I wont miss! Cant miss! welp I better start packing for tomorrow (that's the 8th) first tho I will make my list.
Empty Head's List
-15 pair underwear
-1 computer
-4 game boys
-1 big screen TV set
-5 toothbrushes
-1 pair jeans
-2 t shirts
-3 pair socks
-swimming suit
-3 coats
-5 1 liter soda bottles
-15 DVDs
-matches
Now that the list was done I went to my closet, got my suit case and my wagon then I loaded the TV into the wagon and then packed the rest of my stuff into my huge suit case, and when I finished loading the stuff into the suit case I heaved the suit case into the wagon with the TV.
The next day when I arrived at the airport the person in charge at the weight machine thingy said it would cost $1000 to take my TV, and so what I do is just pay the fine and go on my way with my duffel bag. later after asking 2 people and paying 1 official $50 I found the B14 and once I was on I looked back at the ticket that came in the mail and saw “baby aisle seat 5”, so then I ended up paying an official on the plane $20 to show me where that is and to my disgust I ended up right next to the bathrooms and to my biggest disgust it was a three seat aisle and there was a fat women taking up the two extra seats and, what was worse was that she had a screaming two year old who was half on my lap and half on hers so after hard thinking I decided it was best just to sit in the bathroom (there was only one) so then later when I was in the bathrooms I heard the engines start and then I got really excited because I got a job, but what was extra special was that I might be able to repay the bank (I was in debt).
After I was in the bathroom I actually decided that I might want to rethink and get back to my seat till the airplane took off, and right when I was going to unlatch the door to go out I was thrown into the wall and got stuck there. once the airplane smoothed out I decided to get myself unstuck so after pushing with my hands really hard I flew off the wall. then I was shocked to realize that a piece of the wall about half a square foot was stuck to my face! And so then I pulled really hard and once it was off I realized I tugged so hard it made my face look like this
The only thing that comforted me was that I succeeded in getting it off and, when I looked on the ground my face turned pale for low and behold! I found a huge mess of white stuff that fell down from the wall, stained the floor, which made me end up having a reaction I never had before which strangely was to clean! And so I immediately began slapping myself for even thinking of cleaning since that would take my pride down a step. but on second thought I decided it better then coming out. as there would probably be a line I thought it would be better to take down my pride, then embarrass myself and so I felled on to the cleaning side of thought as I only knew how to imagine. also the floor did not need to be cleaned more then my face needed to be fixed.
Knock Knock BANG! KICK! RATTLE! LET ME IN I GOT TO GO BAD! Sorry misses cant come in. now of course I usually would let someone in, but right then it was a big mess inside and my face was a disaster so I decided it not right for a lady to come inside and to my ears disgust I decided to let her keep yelling her head off.
Sir please pretty please (that’s the women again this time begging) miss I think your plum sweet right now so I will do a deal with you (that’s me talking) thanks mister what’s the deal? The deal is miss you come back here in say... 30 minutes? and you can come in ok? NO! I NEED IN NOW!!!!
Sorry miss I am not Santa but you can wait till 30 minutes are up right? Well anyway you have to (the women stopped her persuasion then and I heard a heavy thump as she sat down, and it was then I realized that she might make a good Santa wife at the Redding fair so then I made my grand mistake...decision (I did not realize this was my life at stake) but anyway that is Santa's decision not mine. and think about since after all Santa should make the decision but I guess with a little bit of prodding, it might make Santa more on the taking of her. so I would just ask her if she liked my idea even if it was rude.
But now I had a job to do (cleaning) um, um, um, um, um, uh hum, I think I should pick up a bottle of lavender (just then I did not know it was lotion but I found out later) just then I thought that if I just got water to mix it with. the lavender would be perfect! So then I poured it onto the floor and rubbed it with my shoes. but it just got dirtier! and dirtier! (I had on my mucking shoes) so then after five minutes hard thinking I decided my mix of what I thought cleaning materials, needed to be heated up. so I then looked for a window to climb thru so that the fat women would not get in and when I didn’t find any I quietly opened the door then slid thru the door and closed it after me.
By the time I made it to my seat (I had pushed 4 kids who dived for the door which ended up blocking the fat women who moved really sluggishly, and then I punched a man coming thru the group which there could be no mistake as to where he was going) I had a bloody nose, a hurt fist, and last but not least a rearranged face.
Dear,readers,booers,and un offensive commenter's.
We here at fastj are not funny but we will try to humor you with the SPIKE SHOW! coming soon to blog on the 8th! now ladies and gentlemen keep your hat on for fastj's improving blog! so keep your seats the shows not over mark your calendar for the 8th now a word from the audience.
bob:This must be the best thing in my life! my favorite blog becoming funny! its imposable Ha Ha HA!
bill:hehehehe cant wait (giggle) beeeee keeeee beeee keee hehehe!
sally:pish posh thats what i say hehehehehehehe!
nick:waaa haaa ka ka thats what i say you guys are not funny!
oh no well thats a word from our audience got to go now!!!! RUN! oh no get the police! HELP!!!!
Who said Risk is a game of strategy and not revenge?.
Well i still am not sure if they were wright! so please hang on for a post that will take to the deep pits of confusion that is if you aren't already in them.
Once apond a dime
there wheres a game calt RISK A Game of strategic strategy and then of course teres thy rules thats {wins}
I comed in i's then reads it and turneds ta
