Me and My Ideas......

You might be surprised that a 12yr old does NOT have a cell phone. I have come up with a few scenarios that prove to my *cough* “people in charge of buying me a cell phone” that a cell phone is very much needed. Well actually an iPhone to be exact. Here is my first scenario:

I am driving along minding my own business when I am pulled over.

Cop: “What are you doing driving?”

Me: “Oh nothing really just minding my own business.”

Cop: “You’re not even a teenager and you don’t even have a license!!!”

Me: “Well did you know there are a ton of illegal immigrants out there without licenses?”

In this instance I would whip out my cell phone and call child abuse. A cop is actually about to handcuff me!!!! Now here is my second scenario:

I am walking along and I step in gum…Quick! I must do a Twitter update!

Here is another scenario:

I am really bored and so I duct tape my foot to my face and my arms to my legs. But if I had had an iPhone I would have whipped it out and start playing Papi River Jump or Cube Field :)

Well now that I review my reasons I think I better keep my peace or I will look like a fool. Oh well. Epic Fail.

What I wrote for a essay when I was 10!!!

McManus: Rubber Legs and White Tail Hairs

This book has approximately 198 pages. It has 26 chapters, giving it a 7.615384615 average of pages per chapter. The author makes each chapter a little story, so in the long run I should write: Each story has 7.615384615 pages. I am giving you all this data so you can, in your head, imagine the length and capacity of each story. Now of course this is not very accurate given account that the recorded data is the average of the stories. This means if every page has 100 words then the first two chapters could be, five pages and fifty three words, and one page and forty seven words. This is an example of course as the book may, or may not have an average of 100 words a page. This, if you still follow me, should give you the answer as to why the data is not accurate in the term of every chapter is 7.615384615. Thank you for reading, and have a good headache!

Jonathan A. Christensen,

U.S.A provider in headaches,

Sponsored by the headache medicine co,

And providing the U.S.A with satisfactory headaches.

War Stories...

So the other day I was trying to be a comedian. I had my Army hat and I had the following conversation with my audience:

Me: "See this hat?"
Audience: "Yes!"
Me: "I always wore it backwards which explains the bullet holes in the front!"
Audience: ????
*popcorn tossed at face*
Me: "NO!!!! THE JOKE IS THAT I ALWAYS RAN AWAY SO I WORE MY HAT BACKWARDS SO THAT WHEN IT WAS INSPECTED BY THE COMMANDER I WOULD HAVE A TON OF BULLET HOLES IN THE FRONT!!!!"

Another Epic Fail.

SWAG BUCKS

This is totally legit and works. Click on it and start using it, if enough of u do it then i will post!