Pencil

How Pencil was made

Pencil developed after 2 billion years. It is what experts in evolution say evolved from a million flies that were squished, and all the guts from a mile around after time formed pencil. We call it pencil because we think that it would honor the flies who made it by sacrificing themselves because Mother Nature told them to.

What pencil does

If you want to see what pencil does, you must buy paper which is made from trees and to get paper you will need to help protect the trees. But beware! Pencil is dangerous because there is something called "fly poisoning" or nowadays called lead poisoning which you can avoid by not poking your self with it.

If you're interested in seeing what it does you can order pencil and paper at Al Gore Products, Inc.

if you have any suggestions please contact us at fastjhumor@gmail.com

blond joke

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A blonde was driving home when a guy pulled her over. The guy says, “Get out of the car and stand in this circle or something awful is going to happen to you.”

So, while the blonde is standing in the circle the guy is going through her car and transporting it to his car. Then the blonde started laughing hysterically. The guy asks, "Why are you laughing? The blonde ignores him and he says, “Whatever…” and continues to rob her car.

The blonde starts laughing again. "Why R U laughing again!" She again ignores him. Then just as the guy is about to drive away, the blonde starts laughing a third time

"Ok… that’s it… What’s your problem,” the guy shouts???

"Well, the blonde says, “When you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle three times!

A blow to unrivaled humor.

ok unrivaled humor beat this ha.

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to walk.

Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!

Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.

Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.

Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Welcome

Hey we of the Fastj really are nice (and very funny) but when it comes to business we are right on it so here is what we do.

First off we challenge unrivaled humor to a contest outsiders may vote who is the best writer so here is to the winner!