Gilligan's Island PT One

This is the tale of Gilligan Island, by FASTJ

"Ho land, ho land!" Gilligan spurted out, from his precarious perch atop the stick above the sail.
"Gilligan, that is not the way you say it!" Skipper yelled above the raging wind and rain, "You're supposed to say, Land ho, land ho!"

"Sorry Skip!" Gilligan hollered.
"Don't worry about it!"
"TY!"
"Don't throw text at me!"
"K!"
"Stop it!"
"?4U"
"What!"
"Y?!"
"Because I will throw you overboard!"
"Y?!..."
And so the conversation went, as the boat drifted closer and closer to the rocky shore.
"Shush your tongue or I will do it 4 you!"
"Uh Skipper-"
"-Yes I know I said 4 instead of for…That just means your non-"

"SKIPPER!" Gilligan yelled out, Interrupting his sentence. In fact it was so loud a yell even the crashing waves (yes, the boat was now so close to the rocky shore you could hear the waves crash) and the raging wind and rain were drowned out.

The Skipper turned around to see what the noise was about.
"Gilig-emph, y did-emph, u tell-emph, me?!" Skipper spluttered out, being covered in spray as he said it.
"I-emph, tri-" Next thing Gilligan knew, it was pitch black.

Teacher

The last day of school is a happy time for everyone, especially the teacher. It just so happened that every year I, a teacher, was always the first one out the door. That day was the day I taught the kids most. I would start out by saying, "Now kids, for today I am going to tell you all about the best summer vacation sites, the best hunting grounds, and the best way to make a slingshot!" All the kids would cheer at this, because usually I told them stories of my childhood and life lessons I had learned. All the kids liked having me as a teacher. I suppose because I have better stories than all the other teachers. Anyway, I am always the first one out of the classroom on the last day of school.
One time, much to my surprise, a teeny weeny kid beat me to the door! I was horrified! I knew I was slowing down when that happened. I had to do something about it. The very next day I went to the gym and got a membership, yes, that was my plan. Workout everyday, especially running and jumping. That whole summer was a summer of relentless working out...I ran 10 miles a day, and 2 miles of that run I ran while I jump roped, and another 3 miles was jumping over logs while a ran. Soon the torturing summer was over...and school had begun again.
Now, I had made another training plan for during school, so that I wouldn't get out of shape. I would race to the door everyday! Yup, jumping over chairs and desks, then running helter skelter with the kids would surely train me well. Okay, forget everything I've said. I wasn't training for the last day of school, I was training for long distance hurdling in the Olympics. What better way to train then to turn an everyday event into a training session? Okay, so maybe running from where I was standing to the door is not very far...but I had trained all that summer, remember? Okay, I know I told you to forget everything I had said, but you can remember some.
I did end up winning the last day in school, but I didn't win the Olympics...oh well. I did not tell anyone I went to the Olympics, that way I wouldn't be embarrassed if I didn't win, and it would be a nice surprise for everyone if I did! Okay, I know what you're thinking. They would see my name on the screen and know it was me, right? Wrong! Hehehehe! I changed my name! Hehehehe! And, by the way, China is a nice place. Yes, I am writing my memoirs here...about before I went to the Beijing Olympics...now everyone knows it is me who lost...oh well. And now my memoirs are ended!
Goodbye. Thanks for wasting your time to read this! Hope you enjoyed it!

Dear Faithful Readers...

Dear Readers,

I have been very depressed lately...I haven't gotten a single comment. Just today though I thought "Hey! I know what I can do...I will check my site map and see if I have gotten any visits, and if I haven't then I'll stop writing for this depressing blog. If I have had visits then I will write more and fix up the color scheming to something more joyful!"

That is why little Ted is here.

Meet Ted. Ted is a fluffy little post that I found on the side of the road. Ted was starving so I adopted him. Ted said he was copy righted, but since I am so kind I can copy him. That said, may we sail toward the far, far, away horizon of a completed post.

"Higher the main Jib mate's!" Said Captain Book.
"Aye Captain!" Said second mate Johansen.

"Sailing the seas of the mighty one,

Hoppin' on one leg to stay on top!

Of the mighty sailing ship!"

"Oh yes I is sailing the seas,

Combing the water,

For the mighty Peter Pen!"

"Sharpen your pencils lads!

That is the sign that the mighty Peter Pen is around!"

"Oh, higher the Jib, higher the anchor,

sail around to the eastern shore..."

"Get to work Salamander!" 

"Aye Captain"

"And never sing that stupid song again or I will throw down to the devils locker!"

And that is how Salamander started out every day on the mighty ship, Literacy. Contrary to his very words Captain Book never did throw Salamander out to sea.

And so ends Ted's post,

Thank you all you loyal readers,

Fastj