War Stories...

So the other day I was trying to be a comedian. I had my Army hat and I had the following conversation with my audience:

Me: "See this hat?"
Audience: "Yes!"
Me: "I always wore it backwards which explains the bullet holes in the front!"
Audience: ????
*popcorn tossed at face*
Me: "NO!!!! THE JOKE IS THAT I ALWAYS RAN AWAY SO I WORE MY HAT BACKWARDS SO THAT WHEN IT WAS INSPECTED BY THE COMMANDER I WOULD HAVE A TON OF BULLET HOLES IN THE FRONT!!!!"

Another Epic Fail.