Of house and house appliances beating me up, part 3

Even though I had slept in my parents' room, I did not get any sleep the rest of the night, mainly because my brain nerves were at my feet, and my feet nerves were at my brain.The minute the sun was up, my nerves were in their correct places, although they were very nervous. Walking to my dresser, I didn't know if it was my imagination or not, but the rug seemed to be crinkled up like so many speed bumps to trip me. I peeked into to my room and, except for a foot deep of clothes and trash, the coast was clear. I walked boldly up to my dresser, knelt down and reached for my pant drawer.

It just so happened that my face was directly in front of my sock drawer. Sock Drawer pushed out with all her force and rammed against my face, mainly my nose. Of all the furniture, upon later reflection, she was the one who had the best sock. I was about to get into a fight with her when I decided to grab a strong stick and spank her. I figured that if she was smart enough to time her socks right, she was smart enough to know why I spanked her. I pulled her out of her socket and grabbed up a stick. Mercilessly, I whacked her ten hard times. I heard a faint squeak my first whack, and by the time I was to my tenth she was groaning and screaming her loudest, which was in itself punishment to me. The rest of the day doors swung out and hit me whenever I walked by them, coffee tables and chairs banged my knees and toes, and rugs tripped me.

That night at dinner, the table collapsed onto my lap, broke the chair I was sitting on, and pinned me to the ground while the chair whacked me with its legs. Mom and Dad rescued me, and I was rushed to the hospital with a broken leg and fractured skull.