The Empty Head Series #3

In the last episode Empty Head was in the middle of Africa with African tribes roaming every where. Empty Head had found a airplane and was searching for anything useful inside the plane.



Burned my face on something hot. After I finished screaming I started to feel around in the dark for something useful. BAAAAW! HAAAAAAHOB! I looked to my left and saw a dark red scaly body lift itself onto its five legs, then it yelled again a terror of a scream BLAAAAF!



I was frozen staring at its bright green eyes, when it sprayed one of its really hot acids from its mouth. I was burnt into life by the burning acid, and dove out of the plane (it took me ten minutes to find my way out in the dark) then I looked back to see a big inflatable deformed dragon held up by two teenagers come flying out of the airplane with a pepper spray bottle in one of the teenagers hand.



So sure I might have exaggerated with the scaly skin and all but who cares, well at least I don't really care, that is, not really. Anyway I got down to business right away, and found out not all teenagers are slow.

A tribe I ran into said that they had never seen Dash (from The Incredibles) in real life! so I stopped and I told them: Well you will have to admit that in your small, smelly, ugly, disgusting, rude, mean, stupid, horrible, diaper country you don't see 'humans' very much, well that is humans that don't look like animals.

What a weird sight! me chasing the two teenagers, the tribe chasing me and a crowd on horseback cheering us on! that's not what was really weird, the weird part was that we where going faster then the people on horseback!

Of House and House Appliances Beating me up, part 2

After the little fight I had with Chair and Rug, I was purty jumpy all that day. All for nothing. So I decided that it must have been just a one day thing. WRONG! The next day was when it started, VERY early, 1:00am to be exact, well actually 1:01:39am to be TOTALLY exact. I was sleeping peacefully, dreaming of a house that had no furniture in it, when, to my surprise, my bed collapsed! I was instantly awake because when the bed collapsed one of the bed's ribs, or slats, decided to break at an angle, making a spear point that enjoyed jabbing into my back like a mountain into a cloud. I bit my tongue to keep from hollering out of pain and anger, hoping I could fight this battle to the end.
I headed into this fight like a mad dog. Head first, I plunged into the the middle of the mess, succeeding only in burrowing halfway through my sheets and the bed's ribs. Good enough for me. Punching and kicking, I broke Bed's ribs one after another. The movement of my arms and legs succeeded in getting me stuck in the sheet, and I was half suffocating because of it.
For half an hour I punched and kicked, until finally I was wrapped like a burrito, and then...SHATTER! Mom and Dad came running into my room and saw a sheet wriggling around on a collapsed bed. They succeeded in getting me out of the sheet, and I took in the situation right away. The shatter had been made by the window next to my bed. It appeared that my feet had broken it. Even though I hadn't fought this battle to the finish, I was happy to leave the battle field partially intact.

Stay tuned for the next "Of House and House Appliances Beating me up" and find out what happens at dinner.

Of House and House Appliances Beating Me Up, part 1

This is a tale of house things ganging up on me to beat me up. It all started when I was hanging up laundry. While I was out, they were discussing about beating me up.When I came in, Wooden Chair was in my way and I banged my knee on him. I picked him up, and slammed him against the ground. Well, actually, I didn't end up banging him on the ground because in order to do that, I would've had to bend over and THEN bang him, but, I did not bend over, which caused Wooden Chair to whack me on my legs, which caused me to drop him, and I kicked him, which caused my feet to get hurt, which, of course, caused me to get mad. I started to punch him which REALLY hurt me, but I didn't stop because I knew that I was still hurting Wooden Chair some, which was better than nothing. Pretty soon though, Wooden Chair and I were kickin' up dust and rugs. We were in a real rough and tumble fight when the police came. Brother had called them because we were home alone.


Usually, when I get in a fight it is with Bro, and he isn't able to call the police, but Mom and Dad are always within earshot unless we get in a fight when they are out. Those fights usually end up with Brother locking himself in his room. Anyway, it seemed to me that the fight with Chair was just at it's peak when the police broke us up. The police just had to stay at our house until Mom and Dad got home (police are always getting in the way).


When they finally left, Mom and Dad made me clean up the room. When I went for this one rug, to put it where it belonged, it refused to budge. After giving it a little talk, I tugged. It still did not budge, so I got mad and pulled with all my might. Figures! that time it did budge and I bonked my head really hard on our concrete floor. Barely able to keep my temper, I was able to pick the rug up and walked to our dump trailer. There I did justice and threw it away. Worse than this, the next day I was walking down our hallway and saw Dad gluing Wooden Chair!!! I almost collapsed, but I held my tongue, knowing I would have my chance to settle the grudge I had against Chair.