My favorite Yogi Berra quotes

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Yogi Berra

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Yogi Berra


Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Yogi Berra

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
Yogi Berra


Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
Yogi Berra

The only color I don't have is navy brown.
Yogi Berra

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
Yogi Berra

confuison in a nutshell

A started talking to M and then M had to leave so J took over for M. Later, M came over and she copied and pasted A's and J's conversation because she thought it was perfect blog stuff.

J (as M): pardon cant hear the kids are being noisy

what did you say?

A: who is this?

i didn't say anything

J: ME!

who do you think it is?

A: J?

or A?

or N?

or J?

or D?

J:this is me and this is my name M!!!

Incoming call from A Christensen at 10:26 AM on Monday

Call from A Christensen missed at 10:26 AM on Monday

J: ignore

Incoming call from A Christensen at 10:26 AM on Monday

Call from AChristensen missed at 10:26 AM on Monday

Aanswer the call and let me hear ur voice!

J: ignore

NO!

that will give it away

Tis M i tell ya

A: see!

it's not M

J: is to

A: riiiiiight

J: IS TO!

A: IS NOT

i don't have time for this

it's midnight

J: ask me a question

is it really midnight?

A: and i need to go print the pic of my sari

what's your birthdate

J: ok

bye

i do math

A: haha

it's no mom

if it were,

u would tell me urr

birthdate

J: 1997

ooops thats mine

ahhhhhhhhh

NO! oh NO!

got to go

bye

ttyl

A: that's fine

b/c i need to go now, too

bye!

J: its __m_y_n_a_m_e_

1997!!!

im 10

A: ha!

that's not M's bday

i really g2g now

love u!

J: ok

A: see u in less than 3 weeks

bye
!

J: see ya

have fun sleeping

its M now

do you mind doing something for me?

that is buy J something over $3.oo that would be coooooooool!!

A: what is it?

this is J again

good grief

J: or $300

A: i'm already planning on buying u something that's over $2

J: i like the $300

do that

A: put the dough in my account, J, and we'll see what we can do about it

savvy?

(real M comes to talk and A wont believe it's M)

M (as M): hi this is M.....was J messing with you?

A: yes

is this really M?

i will call to hear ur voice

Incoming call from A Christensen at 10:36 AM on Monday

is your office always in havoc if so click on the thing below

click on the thing just below

Self pity

do you feel like the victim [you can hear the victim song at your local blogspot] well just kiddin you have to go to funnycoolnotes
do you think nobody cares? well have we got the comic for you!

12 reasons i dont brush my teeth

1.they get dirty again

2.it is a wast of money to buy the equipment

3.i cant wait to get denchers they are so sweetly awesome!

4.i would not have anything to wright about

5.you cant buy time and brushing teeth just wastes time

6.black is my favorite color

7.i have an excuse for taking a lot of Altoids

8.i earn money from the tooth ferry!

9.i am against eating fingernails and without teeth you cant eat them!

10.i stay up till when i want to sleep i just drop on the ground without having to brush my teeth

11.my dentist has already given up on me and if i brush my teeth my dentist might think there is a chance of brain washing me into thinking that brushing teeth is good

12.i already started a group that is called we don't brush teeth and the rules are of what follows.

rule one.
if you become traitor we (the people in my group) will yank all your teeth you got left out grandpa style (which is tying a noose over the traitors teeth then with another rope tie them to a tree then with the noose that is attached to their teeth tie the other end to a tractor and then have someone drive the tractor at half an mph)

rule two.
not made